Sunday, 28 August 2011

Chapter 70 A new beginning, an old story


7 hours at the border with a broken foot, mostly just hanging about waiting for yet another person to question me about what I'll be doing, my background and the reasons behind various decisions I've made in my life

Check points

New people and old friends

Internet cuts

Hummos and countless cups of tea

News of protests that will soon be forgotten

The genuine pleasure of seeing some of my old students

The reality of it though is that I'm already tired. It's draining crossing that border and it doesn't feel good to be treated that way.

It's an intensely difficult thing to have to negotiate your pride in who you are with a fear of how you could be judged.

During those 7 interminable hours my passion and excitement seeped out of me and I've not yet managed to shake off the sense of apathy that took its place.

I really am looking forward to starting work and seeing my kids at school again. I hope that once I've settled back in I'll feel that same joy that I remember from last year.

Right now though, I'm really missing that sense of hope. 


                                                                         source



3 comments:

  1. sorry to hear the english grey skies have softened your conviction.. wait - the missile east pulse will pump you up again in no time..

    welcome back neighbour :)

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  2. hehe

    Hello! I must say I missed your comments. I thought of you yesterday cause I remembered you had a dip in your own reservoir of hope not too long ago.

    Am hoping you've found your way out of there.

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  3. :)

    you know i think these times are more confusing than ever

    i have my moments

    in my nieghbourhood i really like hamis and fahed and sharif - nieghbours.. but none of us will ever be friends.. including the three of them amongst themselves.. having said that its in the simple things that i find hope.. ie the enhances standard of living that we share or the fun at the night markets..

    i dont really believe in the individuals ability to effect change anymore..

    having said that it doesnt mean you cannot precipitate and avalanche only that you are unlikely to bring it about on your own..

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